About my serious side

Not to break the spell or spoil the fun, but you've probably figured out my real name isn't Dummy.

The CTD Diaries is my playground. No one tells the truth in their diaries anyway so I figured I should find another place to get real, where the head lights aren't so bright. I originally thought this would be a good place to post my creative writing, but I think this is just a good place to tell the truth.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Five People We Meet in Heaven

Reading this book is a great way to cope with a Christmas in Kauai with the in-laws. 

Watching the movie is an equally great way to cope with PVBD (post vacation boredom and depression).  

Needless to say I watched the movie this past week and found myself scribbling down all the movie wisdom.  

The premise is intriguing--an 83 year old man named Eddie, who spent his life doing maintenance at an amusement park called Ruby Pier, is killed while pushing a little girl out of the way of a falling carnival ride.  

At the time of his death Eddie was disappointed with life.  He was a soldier who was unable to get the war out of his head.  He resented his abusive father and blamed him for his own wasted life being stuck as a maintenance man.   And finally he lost the love of his life to early to a fatal illness.

In the after life he is told that there are five people waiting to meet him.  Each will illuminate something for him in Heaven that he didn't understand on Earth.  

All of the people waiting to meet and teach him have either been effected by him somehow or vice versa. Three of them are strangers and he is responsible for two of their deaths.

When he first arrives in heaven he is unable to talk so he can better listen.

These are the lesson Eddie learns as he closes his mouth and opens his mind:  

1.  There are no random acts. 

2.  We are all connected. 

3.  No life is a waste.

4.   Life has to end, but love doesn't. 

5.  Hatred is a curved blade--the harm we do to others we also do to ourselves. 

6.  Sometimes when you think you're losing something you're really just passing it on to someone else. 

7.  Sacrifice isn't something to be ashamed of, it's something to be proud of. 

8.  Strangers are just family we have yet to come to know. 

9.  Everyone deserves to be forgiven.

After Eddie learns these lessons he is taken to Ruby Pier where he is greeted by all the people he protected and kept safe simply by maintaining the park and preventing accidents. Their children were there too, and their children's children.  

What a sweet realization.  

It's the very reason I love the finale of the musical Les Miserables so much. Every time I see it I get a lump in my throat when Jean Val Jean dies and is greeted by all the grateful people he effected. 

During the daily grind of life it's hard to remember our significance in the lives of others.   It's so easy to feel isolated and alone and forget that each life effects the other,  and the other effects the next.  

And the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one.  

Kinda makes me want to pour myself a cup of hot chocolate and watch It's a Wonderful Life.  

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Earn it!

Tonight, while channel surfing, we caught the last 10 minutes of Saving Private Ryan--the part where Captain Miller dies just after he whispers "earn it" in Private Ryan's ear.  

So poignant, that scene.  Think about it.  There's a big war going on and a group of men risk everything and face extreme dangers to save one private. 

One single man.

How many men died to complete the mission?  I can't remember.  And all just so one man can return home safely.  Was it worth it?   

I love that Private Ryan appreciates the sacrifice and spends his life trying to earn it. 

It makes me wonder how much more I would appreciate and accomplish if I remembered on a daily basis all those who have made sacrifices on my behalf.

I can't help but think of the great sacrifice our Savior made so that I might live and return home safely.  Imagine what would life be like if I was humble and mindful enough to acknowledge that sacrifice by working diligently to earn it.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A New Years Prayer

I have learned that once in a while people need to know you're human.  

People, I am definitely human.

In fact today I was way too human. It was a painful emotional day simply because I cleaned out and organized all of my kids past photos and awards and school projects.

Oh, how each little letter and drawing and expression on their sweet faces pricks at my heart. I miss those cute babies of mine sooooooo much. I wish I could go back and hold on to each moment--stop them from slipping away like water through a net.

It's also difficult to remember some of the hard times. It's especially hard to see photos of myself right after my twins were born.  (They were born at 29 weeks and spent 6 weeks in the NICU). 

I found the cutest little note in my daughters stuff that made me cry. It must have been written when she was in her early elementary school years. It read:

Oh Heavenly Father, please help my mommy. She's so frustradid. Thanks. You are the best. I love you.

I also came across this prayer I gave out with a homemade Christmas angel the year after my twins were born.  I gave this to all the people who looked after me and my family during the challenging weeks they were in the hospital. 

A New Years Prayer

Dear Lord,

Please give me a few friends who understand me,
and yet remain my friends.
A work to do which has real value, without which
the world would feel the poorer.
A mind unafraid to travel, even though the trail be not blazed.
An understanding heart and a sense of humor.
Time for quiet, silent mediations.
A feeling of the presence of God.
And the patience to wait for the coming of these things
with the wisdom to know them when they come.

--W.R. Hunt.

What more could anyone ask for?