About my serious side

Not to break the spell or spoil the fun, but you've probably figured out my real name isn't Dummy.

The CTD Diaries is my playground. No one tells the truth in their diaries anyway so I figured I should find another place to get real, where the head lights aren't so bright. I originally thought this would be a good place to post my creative writing, but I think this is just a good place to tell the truth.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A New Years Prayer

I have learned that once in a while people need to know you're human.  

People, I am definitely human.

In fact today I was way too human. It was a painful emotional day simply because I cleaned out and organized all of my kids past photos and awards and school projects.

Oh, how each little letter and drawing and expression on their sweet faces pricks at my heart. I miss those cute babies of mine sooooooo much. I wish I could go back and hold on to each moment--stop them from slipping away like water through a net.

It's also difficult to remember some of the hard times. It's especially hard to see photos of myself right after my twins were born.  (They were born at 29 weeks and spent 6 weeks in the NICU). 

I found the cutest little note in my daughters stuff that made me cry. It must have been written when she was in her early elementary school years. It read:

Oh Heavenly Father, please help my mommy. She's so frustradid. Thanks. You are the best. I love you.

I also came across this prayer I gave out with a homemade Christmas angel the year after my twins were born.  I gave this to all the people who looked after me and my family during the challenging weeks they were in the hospital. 

A New Years Prayer

Dear Lord,

Please give me a few friends who understand me,
and yet remain my friends.
A work to do which has real value, without which
the world would feel the poorer.
A mind unafraid to travel, even though the trail be not blazed.
An understanding heart and a sense of humor.
Time for quiet, silent mediations.
A feeling of the presence of God.
And the patience to wait for the coming of these things
with the wisdom to know them when they come.

--W.R. Hunt.

What more could anyone ask for?


Youngblood4ever said...

I love that prayer. Hey, thanks for coming over to do your V.T.'ing at my site. There are time a girl just needs her friends.

IWA (e - va) said...

I saw your twins playing out and around while you guys were gone on your fantastic trip! I thought about their field trip lunch incident and started laughing to myself, I’m sure they were like, uh who's that freak staring at us...I bet they were such cute babies!

None of my kids have freckles... do babies have freckles when their born or does it come later? I bet freckled babies are so cute!

Thanks for sharing the prayer!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

The freckles always come later. :) They come pretty fast in Hawaii.

Jami said...

Your little girl's long-ago prayer made me tear up too. Love W.R. Hunt's prayer too.

April said...

Sounds like the Lord has heard your prayer. Love it!

Sarah said...

I understand the not wanting to see photos of yourself after your twins. I have twin girls that were born at 26 weeks and every photo I see from that time just brings every difficult memory right back into focus. It has been nice to put some distance between me and those very scary memories.