About my serious side

Not to break the spell or spoil the fun, but you've probably figured out my real name isn't Dummy.

The CTD Diaries is my playground. No one tells the truth in their diaries anyway so I figured I should find another place to get real, where the head lights aren't so bright. I originally thought this would be a good place to post my creative writing, but I think this is just a good place to tell the truth.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A guest post from my twelve year old

My twelve year old son is writing his autobiography for his English class. This is the son who I call the other pea in my pod (except he's annoying and I'm not). See what I mean in this post and don't forget this hilarious post.

Every day he comes home from school and pumps out these cute stories about his life. I'm going to post the little blurb he wrote today summarizing his elementary school years. See if you can't see the little dummy inside him emerging already.

(I bleeped out the teacher name on purpose, for obvious reasons):

The elementary school I attended was Laie Elementary. I went there for all seven years. Kindergarten-sixth grade. Everything was running smoothly. I was having so much fun having nap time all day. Same thing in 1st grade. But then in 2nd grade it all happened. I had Ms. _______. Ms. _______ was good. It wasn’t her. It was SFA. SFA was a reading program. Dude! It was so boring! Crazy boring. Reading all the gayest books for like 3 hours. I hated it and I had to go through it for like 5 years.

That’s not all that happened in 2nd grade. This was a scary memory. It started on the last day of school. We were having a party and I needed to go. The bathroom I went to was a small bathroom. Only 1 toilet. So I walked in, shut the door and did my business. I washed my hands and tried to open the door. It was locked! So I’m stuck in the bathroom on the last day of school. I’m in there for about an hour.

After the first twenty minutes it was getting hot. There were no windows. I seriously thought I was going to die. I started yelling and pounding on the door. Finally, after about 30 more minutes, my best friend Kameron saved me. My teacher must have finally noticed I was missing. I was so sweaty when I got back to class that everyone was fanning me off with their text books.

I do have some good memories of Elementary school. I loved my 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Ah Sue. She was really funny. I also like Mrs. Aluli, my 5th grade teacher and Mrs. Tuliloa, my 6th grade teacher.

The best part of Elementary school was the field trips. I really enjoyed camp Erdman in 3rd grade. Hearing those scary stories gave me nightmares for like a week. Another great field trip was our Big Island trip. It was really fun hanging out with my friends, but the best part was learning amazing stuff about Hawaii. In 5th grade we got to sleep over on the U.S.S. Missouri. It was different to sleep in a ship. It was a really interesting field trip. My last, but not least, favorite field trip was box car racing. We drove a little mini go carts racing our friends. You have to admit that’s pretty awesome.

Those are some of my good memories that happened in my elementary years. But, all in all, I really loved elementary.


Youngblood4ever said...

I love the bathroom story. That is the BEST! Totally scary and embarrassing. I think it's funny, too that he liked camp in the 3rd grade but then says he had nightmares from the scary stories. Call me chicken, but I am not a fan of nightmares. That would put camp on my not-so-fun list!

I am LoW said...

SOOOO cute and funny!!

val of the south said...

Does he know you call him a pea pod?

Definitely a Crash in training! Love his story - especially the "Dude! It was so boring! Crazy boring"

I'm going to try to use that in a conversation tomorrow!

wv: rambodro
apparently your son is a Rambo in training also

Wolfgang said...

lol, i love that he used the word GAY!! ;) i wish i could use that word in my essays, seriously, why do we have to write such serious papers all the time, they are boring. papers need to be entertaining too. anyway.bless him for being stuck in the toilet, thats gross

IWA said...

I love that your kids got to grow up here and get to do all the fun field trips at laie School...

Guess who my bunk partner at camp Erdman was in 3rd Grade?

Give up?... Penny!

You son already has great talent! and he's funny!

DeNae said...

I, too, admire the youthful exuberance in his use of the word "gayest". One time I said "Stupid gay Hotmail" because I had had a rather teen-ager intensive weekend and I was evidently mutating into one of them. Unfortunately, I used the phrase in an e-mail to a friend from college, who used his reply to announce that HE was, in fact, as gay as Hotmail.


And, yes, this boy has a definite future in CTD land!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hi guys. This bathroom story was way more traumatic for him that it appears here. When he said he thought he was going to die, that wasn't exaggeration. He had nightmares for months about this episode because it was a tiny bathroom right outside a portable classroom. Even the principal called me in to talk about the incident. I think she wanted to make sure I wasn't going to sue the school.

I'm actually embarrassed about the use of the word gay. Embarrassed that he used it, but also that I didn't notice it. I was so busy thinking "Oh how cute!" I need to talk to him about a better word choice that isn't so offensive. It reminds me of when I was a pre-teen and we used to go doorbell ditching. Except we didn't call it doorbell ditching. Someone older and wiser had to point it out to me that we were saying something offensive. I was horrified when I realized what I was saying.

My apologies to anyone we inadvertantly offended. Particularly to that follower I lost yesterday. ;(